Black Santas?

Believe it or not, I get fan mail. Most is funny and complementary, some is hate filled and rude (which I find REALLY FUNNY). And some make me think. Recently somebody asked me what I think of Black Santas. Honestly...I never gave it any thought. I don't care what color somebody is. I judge people on their character. If you're an asshole I don't care what color you are. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! Race has nothing to do with it. I've met good and bad of all colors. But I started thinking, what about black Santas? Santa Claus is based on St. Nicholas, so who was St. Nicholas? You can read all about him and how he eventually was morphed into Santa Claus by CLICKING HERE. Go ahead...click it and read it. I'll be here waiting, apparently the fucking world revolves around you. So go ahead...

And we're back. St. Nicholas was from Asia Minor (modern day Turkey), so like Jesus, he should appear more more dark skinned. The popular images of Jesus and Santa are Western interpretations of both men. So should Santa be sitting at the mall with a black beard wearing a turban? Instead of reindeer should his sleigh be pulled by camels? Well if we want to be historically accurate...yes. But Rudolph the Red Nose Camel just doesn't sound as good. And shouldn't the sleigh really be a magic carpet? I'm not familiar with the customs of 14th century Asia Minor. If you actually clicked the link above and read about St. Nicholas you'd know the description I just gave is comedic. So once St. Nicholas was turned into Father Christmas and Santa Claus he was removed from his historical context and into folklore. So why would it surprise anyone if they see a black Santa, white Santa, Mexican Santa, or an oriental Santa? Naturally people usually pick the Santa that matches their skin color. And that's ok. It's not racist, or insulting. That's just how we are. And let's be frank, a white Sanata can't dance and loves Ranch dressing, I'm surprised black Santas even work! Chinese Santas are always crashing their sleigh into everything because they can't drive, and Mexican Santas work so cheap that they are putting all the other Santas out of work!

Now that I've offended Santas (and people) of all colors, let's move on. Santa isn't real, so pick whatever color Santa you'd like. But real people of history should stay the color/ethnicity they were. Should white people have a white Martin Luther King Jr. picture in their home? Should black people hang a black Abraham Lincoln photo in there home? No! Those are real people of history and should remain in their historical context. So you can have white, black, & brown Easter Bunnies, but Ben Franklin is white, Michael Jackson WAS black and eventually white, Bruce Lee is Chinese, and Speedy Gonzales is Mexican. CASE CLOSED!

So to answer the original question I was asked, what do I think of black Santas? My official answer is...I can't care less. Santa is a fictional character that we use to scare our children into thinking they won't get presents at Christmas if they're bad. And he takes on the color of the people who are celebrating him. A black Santa would be arrested for breaking and entering in a white home, a Mexican Santa would be deported, a white Santa would be accused of being a racist, and a Chinese Sanata would butcher his reindeer and call the meat "chicken" in his Chinese restaurant. So keep your Sanata whatever color you'd like. It's ok. We put way too much emphasis on peoples skin color these days. And we no longer laugh at ourselves, or each other, the way we used to. So when you wake up Christmas morning and see a black Santa in your house, don't shoot him and assume he's robbing you. Kindly wish him a Merry Christmas. No I'm kidding, he's robbing you. There's no such thing as Santa.

Laissez les bons temps rouler ~ Gus